In Lesotho, where there are very high HIV infection rates among teenagers and young adults, most of whom are girls and women, it is surprising to find that women teachers are unwilling to talk about rape within the context of sexual relationships and its links to HIV infections. This briefing seeks to explain the reluctance of Basotho women to talk about experiences of date and marital rape by examining the power dynamics within sexual relationships and the interplay between economic dependence and silence. In this briefing, I draw on data from an ongoing study which seeks to understand the phenomenon of female sexuality in Lesotho, through memory accounts of four female Basotho science teachers who experienced date and marital rape. The findings suggest that silence is a feature of gender relations that prevents the negotiation of safe sex, the exploration of the self and the expression of vulnerability. Interventions that consciously attempt to break the silence around date and marital rape can make a major contribution to reducing the likelihood of new HIV infections among women and girls and to promoting gender equality among Basotho.

This focus is based on a series of cognitive interviews conducted as part of a broader quantitative study on rape in South Africa. During the process of refining the questionnaire, 20 men from the country's Eastern Cape province, aged between 18 and 49 years, were asked to comment on questions about attitudes towards and practices of non-consensual sex with women. The men were divided in their views but most expressed fairly traditional rape-supportive attitudes. None of the men expressed discomfort with the attitude questions because they did not feel challenged by these ideas. In contrast, the questions about practices, which asked about very specific behaviours, caused conspicuous discomfort. This was largely because they provided a context in which men were confronted with their involvement in non-consensual sexual acts. This focus explores how these men responded to the questions and argues that, despite such discomfort, men are able to speak honestly about rape where anonymity is guaranteed. In the context of working with men to limit violence against women, if conducted appropriately, the process of research can serve to counter discourses that currently legitimate rape and include men in processes of gender transformation.