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Going back to work? Or maybe not... |
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Motherhood brings with it major life changes, one of which may be
giving up the role of working woman. This is not a decision that should
be taken lightly and it's advisable to begin reviewing the odds before
the baby is born, but if possible to wait till after the birth to
finalise the decision. Many new, conflicting and rapidly changing
emotions are experienced in the weeks following childbirth that it
cannot be certain during the pregnancy what the right decision will be.
If the decision to stop working has been made or is strongly being considered, it is good to know that motherhood is a major lifestyle change and would need effectively tools and support to with this major change.
You may experience some guilt in having quit your job as full time mothering is a very real job and an extremely demanding one at that. It by no means represents the 'easy way out'.
If you feel you cannot bear to miss out on your baby's first major milestones, this is not silly at all since career and jobs are always there to return to, your baby's milestones are not.
It is important to ensure that you and partner discuss the implications of this decision in depth. Discuss both your perceptions and feelings on the matter and try your best to reach a joint decision on how things will proceed.
Cover all the different aspects from sharing a joint salary, to responsibilities for childcare tasks to your partner understanding and acknowledging that you too have a new full time job as a mom. You should also try to organise some days to have some time off for yourself.
A working mother must prepare herself that the day she returns to work may be a lot harder than anticipated. Overwhelming guilt especially if you have freely chosen to continue your career may be experienced. Try not to let others opinions affect you. Rather focus on what you and your partner's joint priorities and goals are for your family and trust in these decisions.
You know best what is right in this regard. Focus too on the positive aspects of working like the additional income, staying in touch with working trends and job satisfaction.
Should you start to feel differently as time progresses, you can always make changes.
If working fulfils an important need in you, then this in turn allows you to be a better mother as you feel happy and more complete within yourself.
This story is brought to you by Agenda – turning up the volume on gender equity. For more information call us on (031) 3047001/2/3.
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