For heterosexual women, lesbians and gay men in South Africa; the subject of men as perpetrators of violence permeates our everyday lives. In response, we express outrage at headline-grabbing instances of brutality; and we mobilize public demonstrations to convey our support both for survivors and victims of violent crimes. Yet tacit acceptance of male violence continuously presents itself across lines of race and class. Evidently, we’ve neglected to problematize the sexist, misogynist culture that informs the concept of what it means to ‘be a man’.